6. Dating Horror Stories: Dinner, Drama and a Texted Breakup...

There is nothing scarier than the lesbian dating pool so this week, we are sharing raw, jaw-dropping dating horror stories from our own lives and you gays.

In this episode, we unravel bad dates, physical attraction and what gave us the ick! Plus, we take a deep dive into a modern relationship confessions sent in by our very own listeners - one so tragic that basically a completely normal day turned into an absolute circus when a brutal breakup text landed out of nowhere! 

Drop your juiciest questions, deepest secrets and wildest stories to lesbianspicepodcast@gmail.com - stay completely anonymous, or say it with your whole chest if you dare.

We’re picking the best ones to expose in next week's episode, so don't leave us waiting 😈

Join the GAYY family right now - hit that like button, subscribe, and start feeding us your deepest secrets. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I've got a classic case of blue balls. I'll tell you why. Because your period came and it's been game over.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

I've bled a fucking lot this time round, and normally I'm quite a consistent fucking river fucker when it comes to periods.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Yeah, I know it's fucking tragic. So can you tell it to stop? Should be in a few days, babes, and then jump back on the horse, okay?

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Alright, okay. It's actually a thing. So we are on the next episode. Yeah. I think of us can't, to be fair. Lesbian spice. Lesbians. So in the last episode, we asked people to send in their like dating horror stories and what their experiences were. That we did. Because they're not always rosy.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

And you don't want to hear about the rosy ones, let's be honest.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

We want the fucking tasty ones. Yeah. And the bit spicy. So there's a few that we're going to read out to you and go through. But I wanted to ask if you had any like dating horror stories. Because we spoke about some in the past, don't get me wrong. But is there anything that I'm going to sit here and go, well, what the fuck? Or do I know everything?

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Yeah, I'm pleasured to have met the one, you know. Here I am in all my fucking glory, lads. Here we are. One and done. So I can only really give you an experience from when I was straight.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Oh, tell me, because I fuck it. Do you know what I look at you though? I think I could never see you with a guy. It actually makes my skin crawl. You know, and you think obviously you've had your experiences and you know, got little one and whatever, but I generally look at you and seeing you with a fella makes you feel sick. Yeah. Gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Well unfortunately, it was a pretty you know vast amount of my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Well, yeah, my life. My life.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

I went on a date. I think I'm gonna say I was about 18. Yeah, it's a while ago. But I've it was kind of like a blind date, to be fair. It was like you know, like when your friend set you up with someone, and then we met at TGIs, so you can tell where this fucking date's going. And honestly, this is where I said to you, physical attraction is massive. It yeah, especially if you're doing like a blind date, imagine. Yeah, I feel like there's got to be some like attraction like from the get-go, like some stuff like you can work past, I guess. But like there has to be some sort of physical attraction. I think when they're walking up to that table, oh they were sitting there.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Oh, you was the one that walked into the table. So you had the fucking cat walk to do then, yeah. What was you wearing?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I can't rem Fucking hell, I can't even remember what I had for first. What did you wear it? I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think it was like super duper hot. Right. But it was it was average, and I remember doing the cat walk, and oh my god, I had to sit in this fucking date for a solid like I'd say an hour and a half because I am not the person I feel terrible if I have to make an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Does it was it not just vibing at all then or what was the like the physical attraction?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Was definitely not there.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Poor canton.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Yeah, it was just like it wasn't my vibe, and like with in my men days, I'd say, I did actually have a quite strong type, now thinking about it. Okay, even that didn't end up that way. Here I am. So I think on initial input, I think I was relating to my type and it just wasn't there, and then the chat was just it, you know, when they're too needy.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Oh god, so you knew what was to come before you've even started.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

But like I said, I cannot categorize cat oh god, I can't even say the fucking word. I can't be nasty to someone, it's not in my nature.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

You've got such a good heart.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

I think I have the biggest heart known to man, and I just can't, so I had to sit through this whole date.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

I can imagine your face, because your facials honestly just kill me. When we we go out and see people guys, like or on initial approach, I'm very chatty, and I think I said this before, like I will always chat and try and calm any awkwardness. Whereas Lauren's face, like you can read it, like, and it's like she either doesn't like this person, she's not too sure, or she just wants to get the fuck out, but she'll smile.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Well, basically, in a nutshell, I became a lesbian later in life and found out I was an undiagnosed autistic bitch later in life. So you put them two together, and yes, I do wear my emotions on my sleeve, is that how they say? And your face, yeah, and my fucking face and body and everything else. So no, I'm not gonna really talk to you, and I will basically look at you like a cunt. Yeah, but uh in the nicest way, but yeah, this is the thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

A lot of people say to me, Oh, like, is Lauren okay? And I'm like, She's fine, I'm fucking fine, she's like trying to read, she's just trying to suss you out almost, like she's just very you know, she's not gonna fall straight into your lap or become your best friend in two minutes.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

But then this is where I think the undiagnosed autism just lingered in the background. Because this is where, like, nowadays I call it my my BS radar. Yeah, like I don't have a gay dar, I have a BS radar, and it goes off within seconds. You're very good at it.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Very like, please to this day prove me wrong. It pisses me off though, because your head is so fucking big that sometimes you can't walk through a door because you go, I told you so. And we're like, Yeah, alright.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

But that exactly that. So I think I knew about it, and then obviously, like on that date, all my brain was doing was just calling bullshit. But I just yeah, I couldn't get out of it. Did you have a nice meal though? No, it's fucking TGIs. Oh, did he pay? Yeah, he did.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Oh, thank fuck for that. And you got some silver lining, Jesus Christ. Imagine having to do that and then still go halves.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

No, I no, I did, I did offer. Like I like going Dutch. Well done, you. Yeah, I like it. I don't I don't feel necessarily they have to pay. That's just my take on it, but it was nice. Oh well. I'll take it. But go on.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Goodness me. I can't really give you mail because mail is kind of non-existent for me.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Yeah, it was only like brief for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

It was brief. I did the deed, you know. The gold star got taken away from me as a lesbian. But sorry, before you like continue, are you like gutted about that? Yes and no. You're not a gold star. I think in a sense, like, no, not a gold star. Like, I think I was at that age where I felt like I needed to experience it.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Because I knew how I felt, and I knew when I saw a woman like back when I was like 14, 15, I was like, poor, yeah. But I didn't think in a sense of like sexual. I would never look at a girl and go, yeah, I'm definitely gonna finger you. Yeah like it's not gonna happen. I I just appreciated women that were good looking, yeah. And I'd got on obviously naturally with even growing up, I'd always been like boys gal, if that makes any sense. I played football, I always with like older people that I played in the park with or whatever, was a bloke, but I weren't playing with them, playing with them. I was literally just running around.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

You know when like you talk though, because you've been a lesbian more than me. Yeah, and when you talk, it's like there was flags because I the exact same, but then I was still with a bloke.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Yeah, I think you just took a hell of a long time, but what I it was kind of my I'd say my first proper proper lesbian relationship. Yeah, and so when I first kind of sussed out that I was kind of on this side of the fence, I it never really came to anything. So like I said to you, when we we've been very open with all of our relationships, really. And the first girl that kind of turned my opinion and head with things, it was just a bit of fondling, it wasn't too deep, it wasn't a relationship, it was a typical like girls that play football together, you know, slip over in the shower type thing, but yeah, it wasn't was never like okay, I love you. It was that was never what it was.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Yeah, it was just like level surface level, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

But it was the first girl that I was actually with, and she was lovely, don't get me wrong, she was a really nice, really nice girl. She had come out whilst being with me. Fair. So she was always she was on that journey as well. On that journey, yeah. And I'd come out prior to that, just based off this one few like all like intercations with one person, and then she had come out to her family when she was with me. So I thought, oh, this is like lovely. We got on really well, both had like common interests. She lived like a bit of away from me, actually. But it was just it was quite easy. I'm gonna be honest, it was very easy. She was very inexperienced in the bedroom, but then I couldn't say I was either, like, but I just kind of I think porn was like not pawn. Paul was my saviour, I think, back then. I think I was like, Yeah, yeah, I know my way around this bitch, like, but then it came to a point where and I've always said on this podcast, like, please be the best version of yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin. But on this occasion, for me, it gave me the ick, right, and the ick so bad where I kind of acted really out of character, and looking back on it now, I actually regret how I was toward her. Oh, so bitch, what a prick. I know. I uh when I always think about it, I always think, Oh, I could I should have done a lot better there. Yeah, no, I know. And we live and learn, yeah, don't get me wrong, and I think that that situation and that relationship actually made me be a bit more cautious of people and their feelings going forward.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Yeah, we listen and we don't judge, yeah. We listen and we don't judge.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

I couldn't talk. And so what gave me the ick? Yeah, right? I think you know this, but I was about to say, I didn't know which one you were getting. Which one? Like I've been on so many women. Jesus Christ. I'm not a slut.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

No, literally, I'm not a slut.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

You actually had quite what's the word?

SPEAKER_00 10:12

I was like hanging it on like a bit of a knife.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Yeah, no, but you've had some tragic stories.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

No, I've got stories, I could do a whole episode on my story.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I didn't know which one you were on. Which one were we gonna be?

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Basically, my whole lesbian dating journey has been very fucking shit. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. Had some great moments, ended badly. You know, another one was okay-ish, ended fucking terrible. But now we're happy, guys. We've got my end. Sorry. We got there in the end. But going back to what how I got the ick, she was finding herself, right, you know, naturally, like she was very tomboy-ish anyway. If you looked at her, you'd think, uh, yeah, you know, low messy bun, played football, built like a bit of a brick shit house. She was very broad, rugby player-esque, build your picture as you will. And I was still actively in college at the time, and she was in college, right? So I used to have to get the bus to her, or vice versa. So on this day, I've gone to London because that's where she lived. Right. So gone into London, and she's like, Oh, I'm gonna come down and get the door. Okay. So I'm waiting at the front doorstep, right? Naturally. She cut all of her hair off. Right, so hold on, hold on. Sorry. Oh, it's almost like I just feel so bad for you because I I You could see could see my face, right? Because you you know me, right? You don't show emotion as bad as I do. Oh I honestly, uh it's like the whole world fell for my arsehole. Like, it was like I wanted the ground to swallow me because I thought I cannot wipe this face off me. Like, it's very prominent. So she went from low ponytail, long-ish hair, just wrapped up in a bun. Okay, to complete buzz cut. I'm talking like someone that done it that had this sounds really fucking rude, but you know when someone just does a full fucking number one over your head? Oh god, like it wasn't styled, it wasn't like giving mask lesbian energy, like a little bit of curtains, like didn't have no stars, nothing, it was just like, you know what? I've got alopecia, let's just shave all this and start again. So I was like, Oh, hi, oh fuck, hi, yeah, oh hello, yeah. When am I going home? Because instantly the sexual attraction was not there, and I was like, I do not find you one ounce attractive, and I felt fucking terrible. So, what did you actually say? What made you do that? Is that what came out of your face? Yeah, and I think what made you do that? And she was like, Oh, you know, I need to kind of go in a different direction. I was like, Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. Like, I would rather have heard that through a phone because seeing it, I could I would love to have just been there with her to kind of give her some direction. I think she just went with it, which is fair enough, do what you need to do. But progressively, quite quickly, yeah, I got the ick because I'm quite mask, and I think this is what it was. I didn't know if it was the shift in oh my god, I'm battering, I'm mass versus mask now.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Like, yeah, because at that point, have you did you find yourself, or would you still pretty like tomboy femme?

SPEAKER_00 13:31

I I've yeah, right. That was like when I could probably wear a skirt, like I could wear a fucking skirt, yeah. Sorry. Like now, and I was I was a hell of a lot skinnier back then, but I didn't find myself how I found myself now. I wasn't nowhere near that that journey, yeah. But I was I always internally knew way too mask. Internally I knew this was way too mask for me, yeah. And I've and I always think like the mask for me is like how I am mask. If someone's more masker than me, then I'd be like, How do I? How do you navigate that?

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah, which I find interesting actually. If anyone's like in a mask-mask relationship, like let's know. Yeah, how does that work? Obviously, naturally, you do have a feminine mask, yeah. Stereotypically you do, yeah. So if there's two masks in the relationship, like what's the dynamic? That's what we're in doing.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Yeah, I would really like to know because say with with us, like I've uh naturally taken on that.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Yeah, I think you're masked with like female tendencies, yeah, but then I'm a femme mask.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yeah, you are. Is that a very fucking good one as well, may I add? Thanks. Yeah, yeah. You go get in cocoa.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

No, and I think it is interesting, so please send us in some tips.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Mask versus mask. Like, uh, do you do you like overpower each other in energy? Like, how are you out in like social settings? Because I've get it, because I have been with someone that's basically a carbon copy of me, and it's it's actually not been too bad. But I think if I interesting, if I surpassed over that if it was like beyond your level, yeah, then I then I don't think I'll find it very difficult to navigate, but yeah, so then when going back to sorry, I'll kept detraining, but going back to this relationship as well. So then after that, every kind of conversation we was having, I was just like, I don't want to talk to her, and and then I think And that was the ick. That was the ick setting in, and then my actions were actually quite fucking horrible. I was like saying that I'm going for a bath in like quotation marks just to give like a half an hour break. Like that's how bad I was. I was terrible. If she ever hears me, like I do really like apologize for everything, but at that time I think I was trying to navigate myself and so you were blatantly ignoring her or trying to ignore her just because you couldn't really say that. Yeah, then it all came to a loggerhead, right? And I split up with her and I didn't tell her the reasons why I don't I I didn't wasn't as bluntly truthful, I just said like I think we were in like different directions and like she was going to college kind of further into London, so and I w I wasn't driving or like.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

So it kind of helped to be fair, yeah. But my question to you is how so after that encounter that you saw her and the sexual attraction had stopped, how long was it before you then took that as well as everything else to then break up with her? Oh, a couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

It was quite quick.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Because I'm interested to know from other people once you get the ick, is it like basically a downward spiral from then very, very quickly? Or is it something that you can like kind of like worm on a bit longer?

SPEAKER_00 16:54

From experience, from what I have experienced, I'd say it it really took a downhill fucking roly-poly. But then when it when it say when it did finish though, yeah, I was obviously living at home with my mum, and we were having this conversation downstairs, me and this girl, and my mum had come down and she fucking grilled me, and she was like, Lauren, like you were quite blunt, yeah, like I didn't bring you up like that. Like, I know you have probably fallen out of love or like with her, but you were quite blunt and harsh, and I was like, oh shit, and I did text her and I did say like I'm really sorry, I just wanted you to understand that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

It's part of like learning though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah, and and say it's really nice though, because I had a traumatic kind of life experience about four years ago now, and when it all came to light and everyone found out, she was actually one of the first people that messaged me for Instagram. That's really nice, and then she was like, I'm really sorry to hear. Yeah, um, and that was really it. Just short, sweet, I'm really sorry to hear. Thank you very much, lovely to hear from you. Hope you're well, all good, thank you, hope you're okay. That was it, and I was like, that's really nice to yeah. After everything, you still remember that person has a little bit of your life, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

So I think Well, they've shaved you, or shaved me, yeah. Or shaved you, or and themselves. But no, no, it's important, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 18:22

It really is. I think life always needs to give you lessons and it's how you learn from them. Yeah. And so sometimes they're good lessons and sometimes they're horrific.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

But it's how you how you jump back on the horse and and how you rectify them in the future and not have the same outcome, really.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Well, exactly that. I think our stories have been quite uh traumatic.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Oh, honestly. I mean we've got loads, but But best believe now that we're like we're cruising.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Yeah, we're in automatic, mate.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

We're we're we're in automatic, yeah. Yeah, we're in auto. But fair enough. We're gonna dive into some some stories. And I've been reading these over the last couple of days, and I've actually had to stop what I'm doing to read these because I'm fucking engrossed. You made me fucking die the other day.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

You're like, babe, babe, and I'm like, babe, I'm trying to do something. And you're like, no, babe, please, please. Stop what you're doing, and then it was every fucking minute I was like, fuck you, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

But it was great though. It was great, yeah. So we're gonna start with the first one. I'm gonna I'm gonna read it out. Obviously, we've said before, so though some of them are kind of anonymous, but you know, we're gonna keep it like that until people feel comfortable in sharing their stories, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Yeah, and just like remember, if you do want it to be like a public knowledge, we're gonna keep them anonymous. But cool, yeah, just let us know.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

So this is the first one. So years ago, I became friends with a woman who was a lesbian. She and I would have talks about whether or not you could be queer if you've never had sex with the same sex. I was always the opinion that yes, you could be a queer and a virgin. For example, they are straight virgins. Very good point. She wasn't sure she could call herself an actual lesbian until she had sex with a woman. I didn't see the point in proving yourself by sleeping with anyone before you were ready, but we agreed to disagree and left it as that. Soon after she asked me out, I said no because she's kind of a vic she had a kind of a victim mentality all the time, which wasn't really attractive to me, and she was also not my type. She faded out for a while and avoided me, which I expected. But then I saw her a few weeks later in a food court and our mutual friends, but she had handcuffs on. I asked her what the handcuffs were for. Our friends started saying that she'd been wearing them for weeks, non-stop, like it was some kind of bad performance art. And I was like, what the fuck? Why? She nonchalantly, I can never say that word. Nonchalant nonchalantly said she was doing it as a way of protesting against all of the women who wouldn't give her a chance in dating. She felt like the woman sorry, I can't. She felt like the women turning her down were keeping her from really being a lesbian and imprisoning her for the heteronormative world. It was extremely bizarre behaviour, and I pretty much stopped hanging out with her after that. Fucking too right. That's fucking wild. Sorry, but what the actual fuck? I know there's some special people in that world, but no one's no one's hurting you, Han. Like, and thank you, thank you for for letting us read that as well, because I would be I'd think, what the fuck is happening here?

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Is she in Bell Marsh at 10 or what? I don't know, but I feel like I think the victim mentality is mad that people use it so much. And especially within our community, I think there's a lot of it. Yeah, there's a hell of a lot of it. There's so much drama in the small man minority of the community. Yeah. It's like go fuck yourself, just shut up. Like get on with it. But if you get if you get let

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Down, like it's life, yeah. But that's part of life, and you are gonna have a finger blast 3000 sometime soon, so just look forward to that.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

No, no, I don't really know how to take it, but I feel like that was probably the best solution for that.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Yeah, but the fact is, like, I think it's just she mentioned that they have mutual friends.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

That's a very hard fucking area, isn't it? That is difficult because then how that navigates like going out and just interactions and nah fuck that. General life.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Nah fuck that. There's There's one more. Go on. There's a few, but this one really made me cackle. There's two, but I know you've got some as well. Hiel, I feel like all lesbians at some point or another have had an awful situationship. So I'll start last year I was in a situationship with this girl for a few months. She said that it was her dream date to go to the aquarium and that anyone that took her would be her soulmate. So, being nice, I took her to the aquarium.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

About a week later, she completely ghosted me for a guy who now turns out to be super abusive to her. Karma hit hard here. The thing that made me laugh the most was she tried to talk to me again after about six months. She messaged me and said that she missed my gifts. Oh, of course she did.

unknown 23:23

Fucking love.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

This is typical lesbian behaviour. Can we have it?

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Do you know what? That's quite similar to the comedy skit I watched, where she had brought her best friend along. Right. Basically long-term short. Like they the comedian had pointed out that this best friend was basically in love with her, but she was latching on to the fact that the best friend bought her gifts and like took her everywhere. And whatever.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

You know, a love language was gift giving. Fuck me. No, not that fucking hard. Jesus Christ. If someone dead messaged me and gone, Oh, I missed the way you used to spend your money on me. Go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

I hope she fucking said that. Let's hope so. Please. Honestly. Well, I've got one. Cool. Again, I'll keep it anonymous. Sorry, I'm just skimming because the first bit was so cute. Oh, it was. It was a lovely little shower. I loved it. So let's skim this. Okay. So I met this girl a month ago after speaking for a couple of weeks beforehand. Had four dates that lasted very long in the space of a couple of weeks. On the second date, we both spoke about what we were looking for and our previous relationships. She had admitted to rebounding before. Red flag. And her last relationship was less than a couple of months ago. Red flag. Typical lesbian. Yeah. Sorry. She asked me to be her girlfriend after a couple of weeks, which is very strange to me. And we had a long convo about how things felt fast for me, and I wasn't sure it was the right decision yet. You go, girl.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Fair play, self-respect at its finest.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Because lesbian dating can be like quite full-on.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

It's speed dating, I'm telling you. Basically.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

She reassured me, and considering we had so much fun on each date together, things felt easy and exciting. So of course I went along with it. Things felt great, and we'd met each other's family, friends, and still doing exciting things each time we hang out. Fast forward to last Friday, we had a lovely cinema and dinner date, which felt no different to any other dates. Then each went to our own houses as we basically had to spend the night separate because we had plans the next day. We were then received a call the next morning from her wanting to discuss where her head was at and said she wasn't feeling it and thinks she shouldn't be together. Sorry, I'm just gonna pause there because like this is giving like fucking whiplash.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Have you got PBI?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

So there wasn't a really clear reason which has left me more confused and emotional. She said that there wasn't a spark at all for her, and after calling her out on the fact and her actions and words, said otherwise. She claimed that sorry, she claimed that there was this was her way of trying to make herself feel differently because she genuinely liked me a lot and had amazing times together. Sorry, I'm I'm so fucking confused because how have you broke up with someone? This is bird psychotic. Do you know what I mean? Like BPD and it's finest. I've messaged since as I want clarity, as you should. Fair. And all I'm getting is you don't need to change at all, you're perfect. And we did work well together.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Oh, red flag.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

So I just don't understand why or how someone can do this after I was the first one who was hesitant to get in the relationship the first place. Girl, six like literally about six red flags in that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

But isn't it crazy how someone can make you feel so good? Like they've obviously at its finest, and they've obviously have taken the step of meeting families and you know doing all this stuff that you typically would do when a relationship kind of exceeds.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

That's accelerated very fast.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

As we do, but I don't understand this. Is the thing lesbians can be very, very jealous very quickly, and it becomes almost possessive. Yeah. So if you've got plans, and I don't know what these plans are, if it's a case of okay, maybe she's at home and then you're going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Has she doing something differently? Is that where you're going?

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Not even that. Or is it a case of this this girl might be at home?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

But the girl that's written into us has actually got plans with you know family, friends, whatever. Has she got a hint of jealousy there? Maybe. Is that a bit of a controlling manner? Because I'm seeing a bit of a control-esque with that.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Yeah, I'm seeing gaslighting manipulation, basically. But I get where you're coming from because maybe there was a jealousy. Maybe you didn't divulge what your plans were, but you don't really have to. No, you don't. Let's be honest. And yeah, there maybe was a hint of jealousy that you know there was an alter ear or whatever the fuck it is. So yeah, I just don't think that's healthy at all.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

It's really not healthy. And I say it's not something that it's crazy because what this lady has said as well, bless her heart. She said that obviously she's been very good at her background research. So, like we spoke about, you know, she's making sure these people are legit. You know, their Instagram adds up, TikToks ad up, you know, mentioned that they use Hinge or her, which is I've never heard of her, but amazing. I love that. Heard of Hinge actually, yeah. But she enjoys doing it, and that's great. But to then dive in I I don't know, so obviously fair enough, she hasn't been too uh explanative on kind of the sexual side of things. No, no, actually. So where if where I think where it depends where you are in that as well, like what base are you on?

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

To to kind of warrant because if you kind of only hit first or second base in a sense of you've had a few passionate kisses, and then you've probably skipped to a finger, I would say, just to clarify the bases. I think it depends how how emotionally involved you are.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

I'm gonna be honest though, maybe it's just my point of view, and correct me if I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

She's always right, remember.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

No, if you're meeting all right, friends is a bit different, but if you're meeting family, like, and I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna relate this to us. I would not take you to my family unless we'd had full-blown sex. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like you've You want to know I'm the one. Yeah, like you've had that night of passion, and that is my bitch, right? So you're gonna meet my bitch, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

So that's a good point that you make. I don't know where it sits on the intimacy level, but if that's the case that you didn't get to that base and you are meeting family, yeah, I think that's a bit of a red flag to me as well. That's like acceleration to its finest.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I just wonder what the dynamic is now, because obviously this got sent a few days ago. So it'd be interesting to see where they're at now. Has she elaborated? Because to turn around and say you don't need to change the tool, you're perfect. Or is she too nice?

SPEAKER_01 30:35

See because I feel like I would do not listen, I'm too nice. I don't think I would do that, but I I would probably go down the same lines of being too nice that I didn't get to the point. Right. Do you know what I mean? And maybe she's just not getting to the point, and she's she's trying not to let her down in a nasty way.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

You mean there's loads of different ways to view this, and hopefully, if you are listening, and obviously we've given us given our side of what we think of looking at that in context.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Yeah, and there's a few levels with this. So when you read a lot of the first part of the story, it feels a bit gaslighty. Yeah. Kind of you're put in a bit of a pressure pressured situation, which doesn't sit right for me.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

But then maybe towards the end of it, it could be the case of yes, a bit too nice. You know, don't want to hurt.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Sometimes too nice is too much for people, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 31:30

So maybe hopefully what we said has helped. Yeah. Feel free to literally like send us like what's the updates? Yeah, please keep it. Has it changed? Because then it might be better for us to like insert our opinion a bit better.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

I've always thought just general life, this is just a general life kind of hack, I'd say. If I'm going through something, I always reach out to like my best friend, for example, for her opinion. Because she's not in the circle, yeah. She doesn't know some of these people from Adam. So it's like, I'm gonna lay it out to you and be completely honest. Yeah, I might have been a bit of an arsehole in one sense, but this is what she said, this is what I've said, you know, this is what's happened, and she's the most straight, straight talking person, yeah. And she'll go lauren. But that's what you need, though. Like you do need to do that. And if you do have that person, please just lay it out. Take take them by the scruff of the neck and just engross everything they've got because soak it in, because it makes you the best version of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

100%. But like I said, keep sending us those stories. Please, I've got one more though. I think we should save it for the next one. Because I feel like we've got an inbox that we need to actually look through as well.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, it's true. There's one I'm gonna keep because it's about about men. Oh, yeah, no, that you're gonna have to keep that. Honestly, I think this one had me in an absolute chokehold. But I'm gonna say leave that for for the next one.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

Yeah, no, for definitely. Thank you all so much, like Lauren said, for sending in your your stories because say it's been We've had a a right chuckle, and it's got us thinking a little bit. Yeah, it has, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But that is us for this episode, and we will catch you on the next one. Yeah, boy.